Andy Explains Obvious Jokes
endlesslydevised replied to your post: I was gonna eat food I found in my refrigerator…
I cleaned out the freezer in December and found food that was older than the house. I don’t know how that one happened. :/

Wow!! That is really impressive! I don’t think my family has ever like, legitimately cleaned out our freezer, so hypothetically there might be stuff in there from the mid-late 90s. I hope not. I know for an almost fact there’s food in there from 2005 though.

God okay, my blood sugar is in the high 40s, I can feel it because my ears feel boxed and I’m getting auditory hallucinations. I really need to eat something.

12 and 25.

12: Favorite movie, I will say, perhaps, Five Deadly Venoms? That’s what it was when I was in college. But now I don’t really know? I do have a soft spot for old school kung fu, but I also love such as Les Miserables and Crybaby.

25: Oh my god I can’t even begin to decide what random fact to use. Male platypodes have venomous claws? Naked mole rats are physically incapable of feeling pain? The reason a Les Paul sounds “smooth” is because the maple and mahogany’s high mids cancel each other out? That was three right there!

endlesslydevised replied to your photo: What the fuck OkCupid, I literally—it was two days…

For some reason my dash is full of terrible OkCupid screencaps tonight.

I will tell you a secret. I can’t even imagine ever posting a non-terrible one.

I give you ☆.

Before I go to bed at night I like to think about things that make me smile! Last night I thought about how good of a night it had been; I and two of my friends went to Charm City Art Space to see an indie/pop-punk show but then decided everyone there was too cool for us so we went to a sushi place where their friend works.

endlesslydevised replied to your photo: I don’t know why Facebook thinks I actively want…

Most of my Facebook ads are PSAs telling me to stop doing meth. Every now and then there’ll be an ad for a NIN cover band.

Dogg you probably should stop doing meth though. Yeah yeah yeah “I’ll stop doing it when you stop cooking it,” whatever.

6.

Food: Basically anything with vinegar. I don’t know! Vinegar makes me gag.
Drink: Straight grain alcohol. Not gonna try that again! It’s really good for mixing though.
Color: Pukey yellow, somewhere around 888800. 

D and H!

Favorite food is probably pork dumplings, also things I cook, man last week I made this crazy awesome sauce so that was cool, I’d like to make that again. God that reminds me how much I love to cook, all I want to do is just, be presented with a set of ingredients and make food out of them. Everything I know about cooking comes from Iron Chef and the Legend of Zelda.

Favorite book is… I dunno, I was really into Orwell in high school, and I was really into just this awful/fantastic 90s Yahoo!-style pulp cyberpunk, this is like pre-Matrix but post-Hackers, and definitely before the government started being like, active about hiring hackers. So I guess, I really need to start getting into Philip K. Dick, like I just never read any of his work but always loved the movie adaptations. I’ll go to the library tomorrow.

Bonus storytime! My library went to a new card system like five years ago, but I had an outstanding fee so they didn’t deactivate my account and the card I’ve had since second grade still works.

endlesslydevised replied to your postAnyway I bring this up because, there’s this…

“Electrum causes Transformers to break out in Dance Fever.” Thanks for that, Google.

Oh shit, so if Megatron was coming at me and I gnashed me teeph at him he would be overcome by a rhythmic hysteria?

endlesslydevised replied to your post: I kinda wanna start a band called harvestmen.

Harvestman is the name of a guy who makes synths, FYI.

Oh my shit he makes a Polivoks reproduction?!